Use your words (James 4)

James 4New Living Translation
4 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

The girls and I were on our way back from the book store earlier today, when Angeleah (7 years old) asked for some Pringles we hadbought earlier to munch on. In the process of handing Angeleah some chips, the 2 year old, (Ellie) started fussing and making some weird pinching motions with her hand. Amber assumed she wanted some Pringles as well, so she gave her some. At the moment, I recalled a conversation that we were having the night before about how Ellie, although knows a whole bunch of words, chooses not to use them most of the time. I then shared with Amber that we should really start making it a point to teach Ellie to use her words in communicating what she wants, by saying a short phrase that connects the desired outcome that she wants, and that we should refrain from giving into her as much as possible when she chooses to make a scene and start fussing when she’s capable of making a connection between her words and what she wants.
The interesting thing is, we do this as adults so often. It seems that we don’t ask ourselves or communicate with others “what we want” enough. Instead we fus about situations, and make a scene.

Our attitudes say a lot about our character, and the level of maturity we have obtained. They always, always find a way to to the surface of our lives for the world to see. Instead of effectively communicating our needs, desires and expectations, through our words, we tend to let our actions speak for themselves.

This is dangerous ground, since someone could have good intentions yet communicate the complete opposite through their poor attitude.

Perhaps you’re in a situation that just simply isn’t what you want. Have you actually told anyone? Would it hurt to just open up with not only yourself, but to others? Does it make sense that you would enjoy taking on responsibility over a particular thing, if it wasn’t what you wanted in the first place?

Use your words before your attitude gets the best of you and tells the world what you really want, because it will say it in a way that causes more friction than intended.



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